


thought that i was dreaming (when you said you love me)

by thekardemomme



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Quickies, Semi-Public Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23018380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekardemomme/pseuds/thekardemomme
Summary: even seems calm, leaning back in the seat and humming softly to hozier on the radio. he only has one hand on the wheel, because the other has been resting on isak’s thigh for the entire trip.they’re only about twenty minutes out from the cabin, and isak is beginning to get restless. the boys fell asleep in the backseat ages ago, and even has been focused on not crashing the car in this rain, so isak has had nothing to do but think for the last couple of hours. and, for some reason, the closer they get to the cabin, the tighter his chest grows.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 26
Kudos: 227





	thought that i was dreaming (when you said you love me)

**Author's Note:**

> title from ivy by frank ocean
> 
> set in like october 2020 btw
> 
> i’ve been really sad and evak is my happy place so i wrote them 🥺

it’s raining, so hard that isak can’t see through the windshield anymore. he doesn’t know how even is managing to drive through it, because every splashing drop just blurs everything more and more. it doesn’t help that the sun has just crept below the horizon, coating the road in a blanket of darkness. isak isn’t a good driver in decent circumstances, he knows he’d die if he was the one behind the wheel. 

but even seems calm, leaning back in the seat and humming softly to hozier on the radio. he only has one hand on the wheel, because the other has been resting on isak’s thigh for the entire trip. 

they’re only about twenty minutes out from the cabin, and isak is beginning to get restless. the boys fell asleep in the backseat ages ago, and even has been focused on not crashing the car in this rain, so isak has had nothing to do but think for the last couple of hours. and, for some reason, the closer they get to the cabin, the tighter his chest grows. 

he reaches down, touches his hand to even’s. even immediately gets the message, letting go of his thigh and turning his hand palm-up. isak laces their fingers together and smiles to himself when even squeezes his hand. “i love you,” isak whispers, bringing their connected hands to his lips and kissing even’s knuckles. 

even looks over briefly, to give him a quick little smile. “i love you, too, baby.” isak reaches over to turn down the music a little, and even raises one eyebrow. “what’s up? we’re not too far away now.”

“i know,” isak nods, using his free hand to start playing with even’s fingers where they’re still interlaced with his own. “do you… do you remember the first time you told me that you loved me?”

he knows it’s a random question to even, but isak’s been thinking about it for a while. about love, that is.  _ their  _ love specifically. and it’s not that he doubts that even loves him—of course he doesn’t, that would be ridiculous. he just wonders, sometimes, if even still loves him the same. 

a couple of weeks ago, isak’s dad announced that his divorce from isak’s mom was final. isak had taken it really hard, because even though his parents had been separated since he was sixteen, it had never felt so  _ final.  _ terje had, of course, insisted that he loved marianne and that he always would, just not the same as he used to. marianne had pretty much said the same thing. and it left isak wondering when their love went from romantic to familial. the kind of love that means you still care about someone, but you don’t want to wake up next to them anymore. 

even always says that he and isak are family. marriage certificate or not. that’s what he’d said when he’d listed isak as his emergency contact, in case anything should happen to him that requires a hospital visit. it’s what he’d said when isak did the same thing a couple months down the line. at the time, isak had thought that was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. now, he’s kind of just scared of it. 

he’s not scared of even falling out of love with him. he’s just worried that, maybe, their love will hit that point one day, too. that plateau. 

even hums a little, “i do. in my bed at my parents’ house, right after waking up to you shoving half burnt pancakes under my nose.” even is laughing slightly at the memory, and isak can’t fight his own smile. 

he remembers that, too. he remembers making even pancakes because even had been feeling so much better since his episode, and isak was excited that he was eating properly again. even had been so awed by the pancakes that he’d kissed isak senseless, and the pancakes grew cold before they even stopped kissing to actually eat them. it was a nice memory. 

most memories in even’s childhood bedroom were particularly fond ones. they always seemed to be so happy there. 

but that isn’t the time he’s talking about. he wonders if even remembers. “no, that wasn’t the first time,” isak reminds him, looking back out across the road. the rain has slowed down a little, but all it’s allowing isak to do is see how slick the roads have become. he forces himself to look away before he gets too nervous and forces even to pull over. “don’t you remember the first time?”

“apparently not,” even murmurs, glancing over at isak. “what was the time before that?” 

maybe a couple years ago, isak would be offended that even didn’t remember. but they’ve been together for so long now that isak is able to shrug it off. they’ve said  _ i love you _ so many times that it’s impossible to remember them all. 

“kjære isak,” he says softly, and he feels even’s arm tense from the grip on his hand. “you remember now?”

even nods, “i do.”

“i’ve always wanted to ask you what that meant,” he admits, eyes still trained on even’s fingernails. behind them, magnus snuffles in his sleep, and the seat creaks under his weight. “like, was that… was that a note? because, at the time, i was so scared that— and when i didn’t see you, i didn’t know—”

“yes and no,” even interrupts, probably just to keep isak from spiraling. isak has a tendency to do that; to get so worked up in his mind that he thinks up things that didn’t happen or won’t happen, and then allows himself to feel anxious over them. “i mean, i didn’t really have intentions of doing anything permanent. but i’d thought about it. i think maybe i would’ve, if i’d never attempted before.”

isak winces at the reminder of that. they’ve never really talked about even’s attempt, and isak’s never wanted to because even’s never wanted to. isak is willing to let that stay in the past. 

besides, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to handle hearing about how sad even was. it would probably kill him, a dagger to his heart like juliet after romeo. he’s probably better off never knowing. 

“i love you,” isak whispers out. not because he wants even to say it back, but because he thinks even just needs to be reminded. 

even squeezes his hand again. “what got you thinking about this stuff, baby? you’ve been really quiet the last hour or so. i figured you were probably thinking really hard about something.” in the background, fleetwood mac has started playing softly. isak watches even start to tap his fingers along the beat on the steering wheel. 

“as of this december, we’ll have been together for four years.”

“yes.”

“and four years is a long time.”

“also true.” even smiles though, not the bright, but smile that he uses most of the time, but the small, happy, in love one that he reserves specifically for isak. “it hasn’t felt like a long time, though. it’s been the best four years of my life.”

isak grins, “mine too.”

“so, what?”

“i don’t know,” isak shrugs, even though he absolutely does know. “four years is just a long time. and i guess… i’ve never been in a real relationship before, especially not one this long. and you were with sonja for five years, and by the end of it, you couldn’t stand her. and i’m not worried that the same thing will happen with me, i’m just… i guess i was just thinking about, like, how feelings can change over time.”

“have your feelings changed?”

isak considers the question. he thinks about being seventeen, and how even made him feel. he thinks about the butterflies, the thrill, the passion, the heat, the way they couldn’t spend a minute apart or keep their hands off of each other. he thinks about all the tears, the arguments, the misunderstandings, the hurt feelings, the text apologies. 

and he thinks about now. even doesn’t give him butterflies too much anymore, but instead he just gives him this warm feeling, like he’s laying out in the sun after being cold and the heat is filling his body top to toe. there’s a lot less spontaneity and thrill, but it’s replaced with domesticity and stability. they’re still passionate, and they still argue, and sometimes they don’t communicate enough. but none of it is the same. where there used to be yelling matches followed by rough makeup sex, now there’s quiet conversations followed by sweet kisses. 

“yes, they have,” isak murmurs. “i’m way more in love with you now than i was, i think. and everything isn’t so sharp and desperate and passionate now, it’s more… i feel like i’m coming home whenever i’m with you. does that make sense?”

even nods, “it does. we’re out of the honeymoon phase, and now we get to have the  _ really  _ good part.”

“i thought the honeymoon phase was supposed to be the good part,” isak teases. 

“for bad relationships, maybe,” even shrugs. “but not for good ones. for good ones, the honeymoon phase is the awkward beginning to years and years of coming home.”

“you’re my home.”

“and you’re mine.”

isak wants to say more, but then there’s rustling from the backseat and jonas is groggily demanding to know why the hell they’re not there yet. even laughs and tells him that they’re only about five minutes away, and isak turns the music back up. even kisses isak’s hand, too, a simple reminder that he loves him. isak can’t help but smile. 

when they arrive at the cabin, all of the boys (now awake) scramble to get out of the car and rush inside to claim bedrooms. isak and even aren’t in that much of a rush, because they get the master every time they come to the cabin. they don’t even have to argue for it anymore, the boys just accept that that’s their bedroom. 

so isak and even sit in the car, watching the boys brave the rain to run inside, bags on their backs and pillows in hand. magnus falls on the slippery front steps and sends both isak and even into a fit of giggles. 

when the boys are inside and their laughter stops, they’re left with almost silence, the only sounds being the rain pattering on the car and the low hum of the car’s a/c blowing heat. isak rubs his hand on the window, just thinking of how cold it’ll be when they have to get out of the car. 

“four years  _ is _ a long time,” even says suddenly, making isak startle, “but i’m glad i’ve spent so long with you. i am so fucking lucky.”

isak rolls his eyes fondly, leaning over to cup his hand against even’s cheek. even leans into the touch, closes his eyes. “i’m definitely the lucky one,” he murmurs, and even shakes his head in disagreement. isak scoffs. “alright, well if you’re lucky, what does that make me?”

even hums, pretends he’s thinking about it. and then he opens his eyes and smiles, that secret small one again, and leans in so close that their lips are only a breath apart. “it makes you the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” even breathes, and that’s not really what isak was asking, but with even’s lips so close to his, he can’t be bothered to correct him. 

instead, he closes the distance between them, curling his hand around the back of even’s head to hold him in place. even accepts the kiss eagerly, pressing his tongue into isak’s mouth within moments. isak hears the click of even’s seatbelt and follows suit, and finds that the lack of restraint allows him to turn to face even more fully. 

they kiss like they’re breathing, like they used to kiss back when they were seventeen and nineteen and still getting used to the newness of being able to make out with each other whenever they wanted. it’s a heady feeling, a  _ passionate  _ feeling, and while they still kiss like this sometimes it’s definitely not as often. isak loves it, though, reminds himself to kiss even like this more often. to make out with him more often. 

even’s hand begins to slide from isak’s ribcage to his hip, and then down over the curve of his thigh. isak squeaks when even cups his cock through his jeans, pulling back to look even in the eye. they’re both panting and, as isak can tell from one glance down at even’s crotch, they’re both hard. 

“the boys,” isak pants out, mind a bit dazed, “they’ll come out here and see.”

even shakes his head, “no, they won’t. they’re probably already drinking, don’t even notice we’re not there. besides.” even leans in again, trails kisses down isak’s neck. isak can’t hold back the soft whimper, can’t help but tilt his head to grant even more access. “four years ago, neither of us would’ve even hesitated.”

and that’s true. he and even had almost no shame when it came to having sex—couldn’t really, considering the roommate situation. they’d fuck  _ anywhere,  _ regardless of who was around or who’d notice they were gone. once, they fucked in jonas’s bathroom at a game night, because apparently the sight of isak getting super competitive in fortnite was a real turn on for even. 

isak didn’t understand that one, but he didn’t exactly complain, because it meant even was getting on his knees. 

so isak scrambles to the backseat, nearly tripping over the middle console. even laughs at his eagerness as he follows right behind him, smacking isak’s ass probably hard enough to leave a mark. isak scowls at him over his shoulder, but then gets to work taking off his sweatpants and boxers while even grabs his bag and digs around for the lube and condoms. 

“i can’t believe we’re doing this right now,” isak huffs, settling back on the seats and stroking his cock slowly. even looks over at him, clearly amused and about to respond, but he doesn’t say anything upon seeing what isak’s doing—isak swears he sees even’s eyes darken. 

“you’re so fucking hot,” even groans, finally grabbing the lube and condom and throwing it down on the seat next to isak. the second even sits down, isak swings a leg over even’s lap and straddles him to the seats. “take this off,” even whines, pulling on isak’s shirt. as much as isak doesn’t want to be bare ass naked in the car, he figures that the worst parts of him are already out, so he decides  _ fuck it _ and takes it off. 

they work together to get even’s jeans unbuttoned and down far enough to get his dick out. if isak had the time and the leg room, he would’ve sucked even’s dick. but he had neither, so instead he just starts jerking him off, pressing little kisses to even’s neck. 

“when’s the last time,” even pants, “we had a quickie?”

isak tries to think about it, but comes up completely empty. “i don’t remember. we never need to have them anymore,” he murmurs, and then he sucks a quick mark on even’s shoulder, where the boys won’t see it. “perks of having our own place.”

“i like being able to take my time with you,” even tells him, hands coming around to grip isak’s ass. one slick finger circles his rim, and isak doesn’t have time to figure out when the hell even had lubed up his fingers before even is pressing one inside. “but this is hot, too. so fucking hot. i’ll never get tired of seeing you like this, touching you like this. four years and i’m still so fucking into you.”

“you better fucking get into me,” isak snaps, but it’s only to deflect from the way he’s blushing. he should’ve known better than to ever doubt even’s devotion to him—he is not his father, and even is not his mother. “fuck. another.”

even obliges quickly, moaning in appreciation when isak starts rocking back on his fingers. “i’m serious, baby. four years and i still can’t get enough of you. swear i’m gonna be eighty and still trying to get in your pants.”

“i don’t think the ladies at the nursing home will like that very much,” isak laughs, though it’s more breathy than normal. “fuck, i’m good. i’m good, please.”

“okay, baby. i got you.” even removes his fingers and then quickly replaces it with his dick, which somehow has the condom on it. once again, isak doesn’t have time to question it before the blunt pressure of the head at his hole makes his eyes roll back in his head. “breathe, sweetheart.”

isak takes a deep breath, moaning on the exhale as even pushes in. the one thing that hasn’t changed so much is the  _ quality  _ of their sex life. even though they don’t have quite as much sex as they used to, every single time is the new best sex that isak’s ever had. 

“fuck, i love you,” isak moans when even bottoms out. “i love you, i love you.” he rocks his hips, and then raises himself up and lowers himself down, setting a quick pace of bouncing on even’s dick. 

even is moaning, too, whispering out little obscenities every time isak moves down. his hands hold isak’s cheeks apart, one long finger reaching between them to feel where they’re connected, to feel himself going in and out of isak over and over again. isak watches the effect it has on him. 

“fuck me, even,” isak encourages, giving up the bouncing when his thighs start to protest too much. instead, he picks up a steady pace of grinding. “come on, fuck me. want you to.”

and even  _ does,  _ he plants his feet flat on the floor of the car and thrusts up into isak roughly. the car is shaking with every thrust, the windows are starting to steam, and isak is sure that if the sounds of skin slapping against skin isn’t audible outside of the car then his moans  _ definitely  _ are. 

when isak starts meeting even’s thrusts, the angle changes and starts to nail isak’s prostate directly. he cries out, hands gripping even’s shoulders so tightly they’ll probably bruise, and even just smiles. 

“yeah, baby? right there?”

“fuck, right there. fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t stop.”

“wouldn’t dream of it.”

the pace is brutal, and isak can’t stop crying out every single time even’s cock nails his prostate. he’s barreling towards orgasm at the speed of a teenager, and he can’t even bring himself to care, just grabs one of even’s hands and moves it to his cock. 

of course, even takes it in stride, stroking isak off in almost perfect time with his thrusts. “come for me, baby,” even encourages, thumbing over the head of isak’s cock. “come. just let go, baby. come for me, please.” two more thrusts and isak’s coming between them with a silent scream, mouth open but no sound coming out. he can feel even still fucking him, eagerly chasing his own orgasm, and he can feel even still as he comes right on isak’s last aftershock. 

once they’ve both relaxed and even has completely cleaned both of them up, isak collapses onto the backseat and closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath. 

“fuck, that was so good,” isak laughs, looking over at where even is redoing his pants and trying to gather isak’s clothes for him. “the boys are going to fucking hate us.”

even shrugs, “no, they won’t. they’ll just be jealous that we have such good sex, even after all this time.” he hands isak his clothes, and stares at him as isak gets dressed. when isak was seventeen, he would’ve blushed under the attention. but now, he just laughs and flips even off. “what? you’re fucking hot. i like looking at you.”

“you’ve been looking at me for  _ four years.” _

“yeah, i know,” even says, in the same tone that he’d said  _ i am so fucking lucky.  _ “and hopefully four more years, and then four more, and then four more after that.”

isak rolls his eyes, “you’re so dramatic.” he finishes getting dressed, and then scoots closer to even so he can kiss him again. and again, and again. “i love you,” he adds, when he manages to pull away long enough. “so much.”

“i love you, too,” even returns, nudging his nose against isak’s. “forever. don’t ever doubt that, okay? i will always be so fucking in love with you.”

isak at seventeen wouldn’t have believed that. but isak now  _ definitely  _ does. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @wlwharrys


End file.
